25 Lessons In 25 Years

Hi peeps! I know this is a nutritional blog and I know I have been focusing on mental health a lot more, but as many of you know I have been on a journey to heal. This week would have been my twin sister’s birthday but she is now my guardian angel. Through this extremely hard time, I have learned many lessons, but most importantly, I am remembering the lessons I learned from my twin, Caroline.

There are countless lessons I have gained from Caroline, but these are some of my favorites! (Sit back, relax, and enjoy…this is a long one, but a GOOD one… I think you will enjoy!)

25 Lessons In 25 Years

1.  I have to start with this one… Don’t ever cry over a boy!—If he doesn’t like you, why do you like him?

Caroline was the queen of tough love and she knew how to handle her emotions and where to put her energy. Caroline may have gotten emotional about something (even a boy), but she would get over it (him) quickly and move forward. A lesson I apply to many things…including boys!!:)

2.  Make religion a big part of your life in good times and bad.

Caroline made time to go to church and study the Bible. Caroline had a close relationship with God. She didn’t have to tell people she was a Christian—people who came into contact with Caroline could tell she was special and that her faith was a priority. They could see her light shine.  

3. Be you.

“No, I don’t like that outfit.”

Caroline and I had very different personalities and very different styles. She was never afraid of wearing something she liked. She wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if she didn’t like something I was wearing. There were many nights we would agree to disagree. We decided to be true to ourselves and respected each other for our differences. We were twins, but we were always our authentic selves.

4.    Don’t hold a grudge.

I remember many times I would storm into my sister’s room complaining about someone who had “done me wrong” over and over again, hoping to get sympathy and maybe even advice from her. She always had the same “non-reactive” reaction and would simply tell me to stop holding a grudge. Not what I was looking for!!!! I laugh now because she was right!

5.   Define “true friend.”

Caroline was the ultimate “true friend.”  She was loyal, honest, and encouraging to her friends. Once you were her friend you were “stuck” with her. I learned what it meant to have healthy, wonderful and long-lasting friendships. Being a true friend is hard and takes effort. Keep your peeps close!

6. Treat others like you want to be treated.

Caroline always made others feel special no matter how they treated or responded to her.  She was always kind even if the kindness was not reciprocated.  She treated others in a way she wanted to be treated.

7. Compete with yourself, not others.

Caroline was always happy for others when they succeeded. Caroline cheered for her classmates and friends. She didn’t compete with her others, but she did compete with herself. She pushed herself to be better each day.

8. Keep going even when life is hard.

Caroline was one of the hardest working people I know. Failure was not an option for Caroline. When she had an assignment or challenge, she stayed focused on her goal.

9.  Stay true to your values.

Caroline always went with what she knew was right for her.  When things would become chaotic or people would try and influence her decisions, Caroline demonstrated that she was able to “block out the noise” at a young age and make her own decisions.  She was faithful and had conviction about where God was leading her, and she didn’t let outside opinions influence her decisions.

10. Set achievable goals for yourself daily, weekly, and yearly.

Setting goals for yourself creates a good work ethic.  Caroline set goals that she could accomplish – especially when it came to school. A Master’s was not enough—she wanted to be a doctor in her field!  Nothing in life is easy, but the hard work and rewards are what make it worthwhile. Set your goals and don’t look back!

11. Post it Notes make the world better.

Every time I would walk into Caroline’s room there would always be a million post it notes on the desk, wall or bathroom mirror. She used messages on post it notes to remind herself of her talents, goals and purpose. Caroline used these notes to create a sense of calm in the midst of chaos. Caroline’s Powerful Post-Its have now made it to my desk, walls, and bathroom mirrors.

12. What it means to love unconditionally.

I used to dread hearing “I miss my Rocco”, “Send me a picture of Rocco,” Rocco is so cute!” But I would do anything to hear those words again. Caroline loved the family yorkie, Rocco. Caroline’s love for Rocco was unusual because she was usually quiet about her love for others, but not for Rocco. So, the lesson here is to love unconditionally and let the world know.

13. Let things go.

Don’t waste your time and energy on things you can’t control. Caroline never let the “little things” bother her. She did not complain about little annoyances.  Letting go is something I struggle with, but with practice I have discovered life is a lot less complicated if you let it go. Remember Peeps--- LIGMO (“Let It Go, Move on!”)

14. When in Doubt Take a Nap.

Caroline took naps almost every day. She figured out how to take a 20-minute nap to re-energize herself and push forward. On the weekends, she was known for taking naps for hours.

 15. Self-care is a priority.

Caroline loved spa days. She would schedule a facial or massage after an exam or stressful week. She learned how to take care of herself in healthy ways. I now schedule facials and think of Caroline!!! Treat yourself!

 16. Be frugal.

Caroline saved and saved and saved! She was the person who would think about a purchase for 7 days before she bought it. By saving, Caroline always had money when she needed it. A lesson that I am struggling with but peeps—I am trying!

17. Celebrate the little things.

During her last year in graduate school, Caroline had a stressful schedule. With everything going on with school and work, Caroline found time to celebrate EVERYTHING! She made time to have coffee with friends. She organized post exam sushi dinners. She made time to put a note in the mail to her family. Now for me, the little things, with people I love are what count.

 18. A balanced life is a happy life.

Caroline lived a balanced life!  She juggled school, work, friends and family like no one I have ever seen.  I struggle with balancing all the things I have going on in my life. I find myself asking “What Would Caroline Do?”  Her influence on my life is never-ending!

19. Portions are printed on Oreos for a reason.

Caroline was so disciplined. She wanted to be healthy but also enjoyed dessert. Caroline is the only person I know who would eat one serving of Oreos and put the package away with a smile on her face. This is something most of us struggle with and especially with those double stuffed Oreos— I can eat the whole package!! UGH!!!

 20. Find your circle of friends and stay close to them.

Caroline was quiet and reserved. She knew many people but was close to only a few. Caroline was the friend who encouraged reunions or dinner dates to keep in touch. If Caroline was your friend; she was your friend forever.  

21. Make a Sad Playlist.

Caroline knew the benefits of giving herself permission to cry. When I visited her for our 23rd birthday, she told me about her “Sad Playlist”. Caroline explained to me when she needed to cry, she played her “Sad Playlist.” I’m telling, you my sister was brilliant! She knew how to make herself cry so she could move on to happier times!

22. Hard work pays off.

Keep working hard and you will definitely surprise yourself!

23. If you drive the speed limit, you won’t get a speeding ticket.

I would tease Caroline about her cautious driving. BUT Caroline was not just being cautious, she was obeying to law to avoid unnecessary stress. I will never forget the first time I got pulled over and Caroline was in the passenger seat just sitting in silence with a smirk on her face. Caroline would most likely say… Rules are NOT made to be broken! :)

24. Gentle Vibes WIN!

Caroline was gentle in the way that she loved people. In talking about her with some of her friends, gentleness was a common theme. It’s really hard to illustrate unless you knew her, but she had this calm, gentle aura about her. The way she spoke, the way she hugged, and the way she thoughtfully remembered what was happening in her friends’ lives- was all gentle. This “rough around the edges” twin is trying to be a little gentler every day!

25. Life is short. Make it Count.

 YOLO!!! I LOVE YOU CAROLINE!

 Don’t forget to subscribe!

 xo,

TBO